Dont Make Enemies With Your Soccer Coachs Evil Son
by Your Grace Still Amazes Me
Summary: Elli, Lily, and Willa can't stand Justin, their soccer coach's son.  He's a big bother, and almost gets them killed on one of his antics.  They think he's annoying NOW- but what will they do when they're stuck in Narnia with him? No Mary Sue, no romance
1. Falling Into Narnia

**I haven't written anything in a long time, sorry, guys! I was distracted by schoolwork, but my goal this summer is to write this book (and possibly some more!). So thanks everybody. Please Read and Review, because that's basically what makes me happy when I only have two neighbors: One that owns a peacock farm and one that was banished from Germany.**

**Elli's P.O.V.**

I zipped up my thin jacket even tighter and made sure my hood was up. The sound of cars beside me was comforting. It reminded me of Chicago, back home. My hot pink Chuck Taylors padded along the sidewalk. I passed a group of seniors who were talking in the parking lot of the school, and I stood up straighter and did my little "model walk".

"I look so great," I thought. I was wearing a white jacket with neon paint splatters on it and sky blue skinny jeans. I had my backpack slung over my shoulder, with my soccer uniform and cleats inside of it. I was walking to Willa's to pick her up for soccer practice.

"Willa?" I called as I went to her backyard. Willa was concentrating on a book she was reading. She always had her nose stuck in a stupid book. "What the heck is Macbeth?" I asked as I walked up to Willa.

"Huh?" Willa looked up. "Oh. It's Shakespeare. He's done a lot better, though." Willa had wavy brown hair with bangs that she had down, and light green eyes. She was a lot pretty, was tall and lean, but had a blotchy face. Not to be mean or anything, but that's just how it was. No matter what acne cream she tried, it was still that way. Her makeup and bags covered most of it, though.  
>I had blond hair that was cut as a layered emo cut, cloudy blue eyes, and was petite. I was short and skinny. I did have a few flaws, including a turned-up nose and a growing double chin. Willa and I were as different as any two people who were best friends could be. I was street smart; Willa was book smart. I wore skinny jeans; Willa wore dresses. I was the flirtiest girl you'd ever met; Willa was shy and had never had a boyfriend. I had gotten suspended; Willa had never gotten a detention. The list goes on and on.<p>

"Come on, Willa, we're gonna be late. Remember last time, Coach Timmons said that we would have to run extra laps next time." Willa got up, and we both started walking towards the soccer field, with our backpacks slung over our shoulders.

"Hey, Elli, that was your fault. Remember, you were talking to that one boy—what was his name— Timmy?"

"Meh. He's not really my type anymore. Did you know he likes Star Wars?" I scoffed.

"And WHAT is wrong with Star Wars?" Willa asked, spinning around, obviously offended.

"Nothing, I'm more of a Harry Potter fan myself," I said.

"That makes two of us. Star Wars can't even compare to Harry Potter, but that doesn't mean that Star Wars is terrible." We passed by the seniors again, and I started my model walk again.

"Elli, seriously, it's not like they're going to notice us. We're freshmen." Willa rolled her eyes.

"So what? Miracles happen!"

"Yeah, right. You just wanna get asked to prom," Willa said.

"True that. But my drreeeaaammm date would be Leonardo Di Caprio," I swooned.

"Yea, if he looked like he did in the Titanic. But he's old and not-so-hot now," Willa wrinkled her nose. "I'm more of an Adam Young type of girl myself."

"Adam Young, Adam-Shmung," I said, tossing her head. "The dude can sing. So what. Leo can ACT."

"So I guess it's plain to see—" Willa started to sing.

"When you look at you and me—"I went on.

This time together: "We're different, different, as can be." (In case you don't know, that's a song off of A Very Potter Musical.) We arrived at the soccer field and walked over to Lily, who had a package of Pop Tarts in her hand. Lily is half-white, half-black, and she had long black hair that she straightened every morning. She usually wore T-shirts and shorts. During the summer, Willa and Lily did Marching Band. They were the flag girls. They also played the flute in band, but I think that marching band and band is for nerds. Lily is seriously the prettiest girl I've ever seen; and she doesn't give herself credit for that. She can be judging sometimes, but she is the most Christ-like girl I've ever met.

"You guys want one?" Lily asked, her mouth full.

"Nah, I just ate," Willa said. I took one longing look at a pop tart and stuffed the whole thing in my mouth. Red sprinkles scattered to the ground.

"You guys better go change," came a whiny voice behind us. We sighed and turned around. Justin. Coach Timmons's spoiled brat 10-year-old son.

"What do you want, Justine?" Lily rolled her eyes.

"Not much, just give me that pop tart," Justin said, pointing at the last pop tart Lily had in her hand.

"But—but it's my last pop tart!" Lily whined.

"Do you want me to tell my dad that you called me Justine again?"

"Oh, no, not more laps," Willa sighed. "Just give it to the little devil, Lily." Lily took one long look at her pop tart and gave it to Justin. Justin stuffed it in his mouth.

"Come on," I said. "Let's go change." We walked over to the stalls.

**Lily's P.O.V.**

"Who knew soccer uniforms could be THIS itchy?" I complained, pulling my shorts on. I walked out the stall, and saw Willa already scratching her legs.

"Tell me about it; I can't believe Coach Timmons could be as mean to get us soccer uniforms as crappy as this." Willa sighed.

"Where's Elli?" I asked, putting my hair up in a ponytail in the middle.

"She's already out there. Probably terrorizing Justin."

"Hopefully."

"Hey, put my hair in two French braids," Willa asked me, and I did so. "Truthfully, I hate French braids, but whenever I take them down after soccer practice, it looks even wavier and great."

"Yea, I wish my hair was as easy to style as yours," I said, remembering an incident earlier today. "This morning, I sat on my straightener."

"You did not!"

"Yep. Now there's a huge straightener burn on my buttocks."

"Poor Lily!" Willa exclaimed.

"Yea, you're all done now." I stepped back to admire my work. "Pretty good, if I do say so myself."

"Great! Now, let's go," Willa said, offering me her arm. We skipped out.

"Get off your lazy bum and run some more laps!" was the first thing that we heard as we skipped to the field. Elli was lying on the ground completely ignoring Coach Timmons yelling directly over her.

"Hey, do you guys have a spoon?" she yelled.

"Why would we have a spoon?" Willa yelled back.

"I have this pudding cup, and I don't have a spoon to eat it with!" she yelled. "Oh well, I'll just lick it!" And that's exactly what she did. She started licking the pudding out of the pudding cup and completely ignoring Coach Timmons who was staring weirdly at her.

"That girl would do anything for food," I laughed.

"Yep. That isn't even her pudding cup. I have no idea where she got it," Willa said.

"Probably from underneath the bleachers or something."

"Five laps! Ladies! Five laps!" Coach Timmons was yelling. Elli joined us, and we started jogging around the field. All of the other soccer players started running like their life depended on it.

"If he keeps yelling like that, he's going to have a stroke," Elli said. We laughed.

"Where DID you get that pudding cup?" I asked.

"Meh. Justin gave it to me."

"And you TRUST Justin?" Willa asked.

"I was hungry!"

"Elli, you're ALWAYS hungry," I laughed.

"True that."

Coach Timmons started shouting and blowing his whistle more than usual and calling us back to him. We jogged over there, and Coach Timmons asked, "Have any of you seen Justin?"

"Last time I saw him was when he gave me that pudding cup," Elli said. "That was about five minutes ago. Why are you so worked up, coach?"

"It's just because Justin has asthma, and I don't like him being without his inhaler." Coach Timmons held up the said inhaler. "Now, you girls go look for him."

"Why us?" I asked.

"Because y'all need the exercise."

Elli had her mouth open. "And what is THAT supposed to mean?"

"Just go! And bring this with you!" Coach Timmons thrust the inhaler into Willa's hands. We walked off sullenly.

"Where the heck are we supposed to look?" I asked.

"I don't know!" Willa said.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm going into the woods," Elli said.

"WHY would you want to do that?" I asked.

"Because if we go into the woods, we could just wait until soccer practice is over and go tell Coach Timmons we didn't find him. You know he won't be in there. Besides, by the time that we get back, he'll probably be back there anyways."

"I don't know about that, Elli," Willa warned. "I don't like not following the rules."

"But we ARE following the rules," I said. "We're 'searching' for Justine."

"Haha. Justine. I'm glad I thought of it," Elli laughed.

"Come on, Willa," I said.

"Fine, I'll do it," she said, giving in.

We started into the woods.

**Willa's P.O.V.**

We're gonna get in trouble. I just know it. The only time I can remember that I got into trouble was when I was wearing a skirt to school and had some tights on that had little holes in it in the shape of flowers and got in trouble because apparently tights aren't tights if you can see your skin color through them. Seriously! THAT'S why I didn't get a Good Citizenship award in 8th grade.

"Justin! Justin!" I called in the still silence of the woods.

"Willa, stop yelling for him. You know he's not here. We just came in here to get away from soccer practice," Elli said.

"While we're in here, we might as well be calling for him. I mean, you never know."

"Right…."

"OH MY GOSH LET'S SING SONGS!" Elli exclaimed.

"Alright. Let's take suggestions. Any requests?" Lily asked.

"Um, how about Colors of the Wind?" I exclaimed.

"You think you own whatever land you land on…." Elli started.

"The earth is just a dead thing you can claim…." Lily sang.

"But I know every rock"—I pointed to a rock. "And tree"—I pointed to a tree. "And creature"—Okay, I admit it, I got stuck on that one. "A creature"—I said, looking around.

"My gosh, if Justine was here, he would be the creature," Elli said.

"I told you guys not to call me that!" came a voice from above. It echoed.

"OH MY GOD!" I screamed. "JUSTIN DIED AND CAME BACK TO HAUNT US! BECAUSE WE DIDN'T GIVE HIM THE INHALER HE NEEDED TO LIVE! NOOOOO!" I threw the inhaler into the air and fell to my knees.

"Shut up!" the voice said again. "And don't throw around my stupid inhaler like that."

"What the heck?" Lily asked, and looked up into the treetops.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Elli cried. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?"

Then it laughed. And I could tell that evil laugh anywhere. "JUSTINE!"

"Don't call me that!" Justin called.

"He's up there, on that tree branch," Lily said. "Justin, I swear, if you don't get down here this instant, I'm telling your father!"

"Make me!" Justin said, and stuck his tongue out at her.

"You little"—Elli started to climb the tree, but fell to the ground like something had hit her with a yell that sounded like "GAAAHHH!". She got up with a look on her face that could kill. And then I got hit with one. It was a nut. Who cared what kind of nut; Justin was throwing them at us.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Elli screamed. "GET DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT, MISTER!"

"So what if I don't?"

"GGGAHH!" Elli screamed, and took a running start to the tree. She climbed up, and no matter how many tons of nuts Justin threw at her, she was gonna get up there. And probably push him off the limb.

"Wait! Elli!" Lily yelled. "Are you sure that branch can support you? It looks pretty flimsy to me!"

"IF THAT BRANCH CAN SUPPORT FATTIE JUSTINE, I THINK IT CAN HANDLE ME!" Elli was on a roll.

"Hey!" Justin whined. "What's that supposed to mean?" Elli reached the branch that Justin was on and looked down, terrified. They were a good 20 feet off the ground.

"Justin, get us down!" she said frantically.

"How? You're the one dumb enough to climb up here after me!" Justin said.

"OH MY GOD, I'M STUCK!" Elli screamed. "HELP ME!"

"She totally forgot she was afraid of heights," I explained to Lily.

"How are we supposed to help her?" Lily asked.

"I dunno. The only way I can think of is climbing up there with her and leading her back down," I said.

"But what about that branch?"

"I have no idea about that. But we either take a chance with the branch or she's stuck up there forever….with Justine. And who would want to be stuck up there with Justine?"

"You got a point there. Okay, you boost me up." I boosted Lily up, and she scrambled to the top. This is starting to be like that one kid book "Chika Chika boom boom". Chika chika boom boom, will there be enough room?

Lily was about halfway up when I heard somebody else coming through the forest. I looked behind me to see a red baseball cap. I would know that cap anywhere. Coach Timmons.

I stifled a scream and started climbing up the tree. Maybe if we were all quiet and Elli gagged Justin with something, he wouldn't notice we were up there.

"Shhhh!" I said to everybody in an exaggerated whisper and flailed my arms in Coach Timmons's direction. Lily immediately caught on, nodded, and climbed faster than ever. But Elli had to watch me for several seconds before realizing what was happening. She put her hand over Justin's mouth and gave him a glare that said "You'd better shut up or there's only going to be one of us on this branch".

Lily got onto the branch and aided Elli in making scary faces at Justin. I got up to their level and tried to step onto the branch, but it seemed too far away for me. Coach Timmons was directly below us, and we all froze. Even Justin only moved his eyes. And then, Coach Timmons walked away. As soon as he was out of earshot, I jumped onto the branch. And then….

CCCRRRAAACCCKKK!

It fell, along with Elli, Lily, Justin, and me. We were all screaming our heads off, as we were hurtled forward towards the ground headfirst. There was no way we were going to survive this. Thanks a lot, Justine, you're gonna be the cause of our death.

We were about to hit the ground, and I saw my life flash before my eyes.

And then, all of a sudden, the ground LITERALLY OPENED UP. What the heck? It was this huge black crack in the ground that enveloped all of us. I had always wanted the ground to swallow me up when I was embarrassed, but now it was actually happening. And now, of all times.

And in half of a second, we were in darkness.


	2. Meeting Guy and now I'm Nicki Minaj

**Alright, this chapter is going to start first in Willa's Point of View when she woke up, and then it will move to Elli's Point of View whenever she woke up. I'm doing this because they're going to have two totally different adventures….for the first part of the book, anyways.**

**Willa's P.O.V.**

And then there was silence. And it was cold out here, too. I couldn't see anything. Am I dead? I felt my face getting squashed, and I realized I was lying on my stomach with my face in the dirt. I sat up and dusted myself off. I heard a lot of bugs and I realized that I wasn't home anymore. Home didn't have a place like this, and it wasn't night at home.

I'm on the edge of the woods, and there's a huge field. It's a clear, dark night, and the stars are twinkling. There's a large planet moving faster than most planets. It blocks out the moon for a moment; there's darkness, and then it reveals the moon again.

Then, all of a sudden, I see fireworks. They're booming really loud, and I don't know why the heck anyone would be shooting fireworks here, in the middle of nowhere. Then I heard the galloping of horses. Gosh, all this seems so random.

I see a guy on a horse, coming towards the woods. He's going pretty fast. _Hmmm, I wonder if he's cute?_ Then I mentally slapped myself. "Willa, you would think that." Then I see there's some people chasing him. Like, a dozen horsemen are heading straight towards me. GAAAHHH! THEY HAVE SWORDS!

The guy (I'm just gonna call him 'Guy' now) sees me and slows down, but he looks like he's in a hurry. Ah-ah-ah- HE IS HOT! In a weird foreign kind of way.

"What are you doing in the middle of the woods?" he asks in a British-Spanish accent.

"I-I really don't know," I said. He looked behind his shoulder at the angry mob getting closer.

"Get on," Guy said, holding out his hand.

"Yeah, right, you creep," I said, backing away. "As if I would."

"No, seriously." Guy looked back over his shoulder again, clearly impatient. "If they see you they'll kill you. They're out for blood. And I cannot leave a young damsel in distress."

"Don't pull that line with me! Slow down, cowboy!" I said.

"Okay. If you aren't going to come, I'm going to drag you with me." Guy grabbed onto my arm.

"GGGAAAHHH!" I yelled. "Fine, fine, I'll get on, just don't touch me, creep!" I mounted the horse, and he galloped away. "Wow. This—this is really awkward," I shouted over the noise.

I looked behind my shoulder and saw the mob stop when they got to the edge of the woods, and then keep galloping into the woods after having a pep talk from an old guy.

"Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah," my scream goes as we gallop over some rocks. And then we go through a river. "ARE YOU SURE THIS IS SAFE?" I scream.

"WOULD YOU BE QUIET FOR JUST ONE MOMENT?" Guy yells, clearly irritated by me.

"HEY, LOOK, ANOTHER FOREST!" I yell. We enter it, and I see there are a lot of tiny twigs in front of us. I duck behind Guy (luckily Guy is muscley and huge) so that he got hit in the face with a lot of them. Good. I hope it hurt.

And then I see this huge tree trunk over our path. It's about the height of where Guy's head is, and I laugh evilly to myself as I duck and don't warn him. And then….

BAM! K.O.! Haha he didn't really get knocked out. I wish. He just falls off the horse all pitifully. And then I realize that I'm on a racing horse. I have no idea how to control a horse.

"WHOA, HORSEY!" I yell. That didn't work. I close my eyes and take a huge leap off of him. And, of course, what with my luck, I landed right in the middle of a huge puddle.

"PPFFFTTT!" I spit water out of my mouth. I was now soaking wet. I crossed my arms and stomped out of the puddle, just in time to see Guy just lying there in the middle of the woods. I stomp over and look down at him. "What now, sir. WHAT NOW."

And then I see movement out of the corner of my eye. There's a badger and a really short guy looking at us weirdly. They had emerged from a little cabin. Wow. I need to get that short guy's autograph.

The short guy said to the badger, "They've seen us." He pulled a sword out of nowhere and ran at us with it.

"AAAAAHHH!" I yell and back up. "no, no, no, I'm too young to die!" I look down to see if Guy is hyperventilating like I am, and see that he's looking like somebody who had too much caffeine from the dwarf to a horn that just randomly appeared on the ground out of nowhere. Oh, gosh, no, Guy, don't go crazy on me now!

The dwarf sees the mob coming closer and spins his little sword around and runs off towards them. Yeah, right. Like he stands a chance against those guys. "Take care of them," he says to a badger and another dwarf that just emerged from the little house. What is this, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?

Dwarf #2 runs towards us, brandishing his own little mini sword. Me and Guy scream "NOOOOO!" Guy picked up the horn and blew it. Yeah, Guy must really be drunk or something. Like blowing a horn would help anything. But apparently the dwarf thought it was going to help, because next thing I know, he's yelling "NOOOO!" too. He hits Guy over the head, and this time he really does get knocked out.

Then he comes at me with his mini weapon.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" I scream, putting up my arms to shield me. "NO NO NO NO NO TAKE HIM, TAKE HIM! I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS GUY!"

"Likely story," he says in a Scottish accent.

The badger behind him speaks in my defense. "She's a lady, Nikabrik." What? Nick a Brick? "She deserves to be treated with respect." Then, to me, he says, "Come on in."

"OKAY!" I say, getting ready to skip to the cottage.

"Wait!" Nick A Brick says. "AFTER you drag _this_ scum in." He kicks Guy in the head.

"Awww….do I have to?" I ask gloomily. "I don't even know the kid!"

All I receive in reply is a look of hate from Nikabrik.

I sigh. "Fine, fine. Come in, Guy." I grab him by the cape. "Oooh, he's like Batman," I laugh. "Who wears capes anymore?" I started dragging him. Gosh, was he heavy! "My gosh, Guy, lay off the potato chips! I don't even think you can fit through this door!" I finally get him to the doorframe. "I think you need to be airlifted, Guy. BEEP BEEP BEEP! HERE COMES THE TOWTRUCK!" I drag him through the doorframe. Well, not all the way through.

I shout in victory, "I got hi—" Bump. Guy hit his head on the doorframe really hard. "Ouch, that's gonna make a mark. Okay, NOW I've got him!" I drag him all the way through and into the middle of the living room.

And I look up to see Lily sitting in one of the chairs.

**Elli's P.O.V.**

I was still screaming when I felt sand. Sand? We were in the middle of the woods, for goodness sakes. I had the gritty stuff between my teeth. I hoisted myself up and saw darkness. I was inside a cave.

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore," I murmured.

"Ya think?" came a reply.

"GAH!" I screamed and jumped. I whirled around to see Justin. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"I have no earthly idea; let's go see where the heck we are." I led the way, stumbling over rocks. We finally found the exit, where a bright blue sky greeted us with perfect-weather clouds. I heard people screaming and lots of laughter. Laughter? Where ARE we? Since when does laughter happen at soccer practice?

Then I saw that we were on a beach. A beach with a few cliffs high above us, green trees in the distance, and clear blue water as far as you could see. It was literally a dream beach. The next thing I noticed was that the screams and laughter were coming from the water. There were four kids out there, two boys and two girls.

The oldest boy looked pretty awesomesauce, if I do say so myself. He was wearing gray pants rolled up to his knees, a white long-sleeved shirt, and blond hair.

The oldest girl was younger than him, with a red cardigan on over a white ruffled shirt and a gray pencil skirt. She had long, straight, brown hair.

The youngest boy had a white long-sleeved shirt on, just like the other boy, and a blue sweater vest on over that. He had gray pants on, rolled up to his knees. He had messy black hair.

The youngest girl had on a gray dress and a white long-sleeved shirt under that with her brown hair in two braids.

What were they doing out there without their swimsuits on? I glanced at Justin, who was drooling over the girls.

"Come on, Justine," I said, pulling him by his ear to the water. "Stop gawking."

The oldest girl was the first to notice us, and trotted to the shore very proper-like. "Are you Narnians?"

"Narn what?" I asked.

"Never mind," she said. She called to the others. "Come here! It seems they've been pulled by magic just like us!"

"Magic?"

"Baby, I didn't believe in magic….until I saw you," Justin said, dreamily gazing up at the girl.

"Ugh…." The girl wrinkled her nose.

"Shut up, Justine, you don't have a chance." I felt the urge to slap him. Everyone came to the shore to meet us.

"Hello," the youngest girl said, reaching us first and holding her hand out to us in greeting. I shook it, and so did Justin, only he held on a lot longer than he needed to. "I'm Lucy. This is Susan—" she motioned to the older girl—"This is Edmund—" she motioned to the younger boy—"and this is Peter." She finally pointed to the cuter oldest guy.

"Pleased to meet you," they all said in British accents.

"And who are you?" Peter asked. I broke into song.

"Somebody tell him who the heck I is I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up, back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up." They all looked at me strangely. I cleared my throat. "Ahem. I mean, I'm Elli, and this is Justine."

"MY NAME IS JUSTIN!" Justin yelled very whinily.

"Anyways, we have no idea where we are or how we got here."

Edmund scratched his head. "Well, we _think _that we're in Narnia, but we're not sure. Have you been to Narnia before?"

"No. I haven't, actually. What is Narnia?"

Lucy broke in. "Oh, Narnia is wonderful! There's a lion there—his name is Aslan, and he made all of the animals and the forests. He's like God and Jesus, only in this world. There's dryads and talking animals and centaurs and giants and fauns….it's fantastic. And we were the kings and queens of it!"

I sat in silence for a moment. Oh my gosh, I think this kid is drunk.

"Hush, Lu. I'm not so sure that this _is_ Narnia," Peter said.

I spoke to Peter this time. I was having so much fun rapping Super Bass, I decided to just keep going with the lyrics. "I said, excuse me, you're a heck of a guy, I mean, my, my, my, you're like pelican fly, I mean, you're so shy, and I'm loving your tie—" Peter looked confusedly at the tie he held in his hand—"you're like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh!"

"…Thank you?" Peter said, his eyebrows raised. I took the opportunity to use a similar line on Edmund.

"Excuse me, you're a heck of a guy, you know I really got a thing for British guys, I mean, sigh, sickening eyes! I can tell you're in touch with your feminine side, oh!"

"Excuse me!" Edmund stood up taller and puffed his chest out.

"Sorry," I laughed. "I just HAD to do that."

"Come on," Susan said. "Let's go look around."

"I'LL JOIN YOU!" Justin practically screamed.

"Alright….at least I don't get the weird one," Susan muttered under her breath as she walked away with Justin at her heels.

"Hey! I heard that!" I yelled to her.

Edmund shrugged. "Might as well keep looking." He and Peter walked off and started looking. And then there were two.

"Hey, come on!" Lucy smiled up at me. "You can come look with me!"

"Thanks," I said. "I bet everyone else thinks I'm a weirdo." We started off, looking around the ruins of a building.

Lucy picked two apples and held one out to me.

"YUM! I'm starved!" I exclaimed. Lucy giggled.

We walked up some stairs into the ruins of where inside the building must have been. Lucy looked over the edge at the clear blue ocean. I looked with her, though I rarely liked looking at nature. There were a lot of rocky islands in the middle of the ocean.

"Wonder who lived here," Lucy said to Susan, who was walking behind us. Justin, who was behind her, had taken off his shoes earlier and screamed and clutched his foot and fell to the ground. Susan, ignoring him, picked up what he had stepped on.

"Get, up, you baby," I said to Justin. What Susan was holding was a gold chess piece.

"I think we lived here, Lucy," Susan said.

"Na na na na na na na, AMNESIA!" I sang.

Everybody gathered around Susan and stared at the chess piece with their faces two inches from it like it was a miraculous thing. Justin was still on the floor, but when he noticed nobody was expressing any sympathy towards him, he got up and joined the circle.

"Hey, that's mine," Edmund said. "From my chess set."

"Which chess set?" Peter asked.

"Duh, the gold one, Pete," I said.

"Naw," Susan said sarcastically.

"I didn't exactly have a solid gold chess set in Finchley, did I?" Edmund said, answering Peter's question and examining the chess piece.

"It can't be," Lucy whispered and ran off to who knows where.

"Wait! Lucy!" I called. "You're my only friend! DON'T LEEEAAAVVVEEE!"

Everybody followed her to a part of the ruins. "Don't you see?" Lucy asked, grasping Peter's hand.

"What?"

Lucy set them all up in a line and said stuff like "Imagine walls", "columns there", and "a glass roof".

"Lucy, I do believe you are going off the deep end," I said.

"_I_ don't think you are, Lucy," Justin said admiringly.

They ignored us until Peter muttered, "Cair Paravel." They all seemed to think that this meant something and stared at nothing in amazement.

"Am I missing something?" I asked.

"Cair Paravel was the castle that we lived at," Edmund explained. "But now, I guess, it's all reduced to ruin."

"Bravo, bravo," I clapped. "Congrats, all!"

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	3. I'm Elli the awesomesauceiness

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Elli's P.O.V.

Edmund bent down to look at something. Then he just randomly says "Catapults."

"What?" Peter and I said at the same time confusedly.

"This didn't just happen," Edmund said. "Cair Paravel was attacked."

"Dun dun DUN!" I sang. The boys ignored me and ran off, but Susan just looked at me.

"Really, you ARE immature."

"You would say that," I said. "Someday, I'll be living in a big old city, and all you're ever gonna be is mean."

Susan sighed and walked off to where the boys went. Turns out, they ran over to an ivy-covered wall, moved the leaves out of the way, and revealed a door.

"National Treasure or what?" Justin breathed.

One of the guys broke the door down. It was really dark down there. Peter tore off a part of his shirt and it made a big ripping sound. He wrapped it around a stick he had picked up.

"I don't suppose anyone has any matches, do they?" he asked.

"Not Susan, what with her ice of a heart," I muttered.

"I heard that, Elli! Do NOT insult a queen of Narnia!"

"Or else what? You'll come after me? Girl, I've squashed bigger bugs than you."

"Oh, I ought to…."

"You wanna go? Let's go!" I said, putting my fists up. Susan did likewise.

"Ladies! Ladies!" Peter was saying, and Lucy was saying "Please don't fight." Edmund and Justin were watching all of this unfold eagerly. I went for Susan's hair, but she ducked and hit me in the stomach. Before either of us knew what was happening, we were rolling head-over-heels into the dark chamber—and fell down the stairs.

Peter ran down the stairs after us, and pulled Susan off me. "No fighting, girls! You need to learn how to control your temper, considering we're probably going to be together for a while."

"Oh, help me," I said, and Susan said, "NOO!"

That launched Peter into a kingly speech about loyalty and trust and nobody was really listening.

"Su, that's the first time I've ever seen you lose your temper," Edmund chuckled, holding up a flashlight.

"Yes, well, I'm….sorry," Susan said to me.

"Well, I'm not, and I don't think you are either." I crossed my arms and turned on my heel. Nobody was paying attention to us anymore. They were looking around the chamber.

"I can't believe it," Peter said. "It's all still here." They all ran over to their chests like kids on Christmas Day. I just followed Lucy. She pulled out a dress.

"I was so tall," she said, holding up the long dress and giggling.

"Well, you were older then," Susan said.

"As opposed to hundreds of years later, when you're younger," Edmund said, laughing.

"First of all, what?" I asked. "Second of all, might I have a dress, Susan, considering I'm standing here in my soccer uniform and cleats?"

"When we were in Narnia long ago, we grew up. Then, when we went back home, we were young again. When we came back, our castle was defeated. And we're young," Edmund said to me.

Susan handed me a dress and a pair of shoes grudgingly.

"So if you went from home to Narnia over and over, would you live forever?" I asked.

"Yes, I suppose so," Edmund said.

Peter was ignoring us and blew the dust away from an item in his hands. It was a gold plate with the picture of a lion on it. Was this the Aslan dude Lucy was blabbering on about?

Peter looked up all heroic-like.

Susan was looking at her stuff all disappointed-like.

"Aw, did Santa forget you?"

She looked at me coldly. "Actually, no. I must have left my horn on my saddle the day we went back."

"A horn? That's what you're all upset about?" I asked.

"Not just any horn," she snapped back. "When you blew it, anytime you were in trouble, help would come."

"I need help right now," Justin said. "Somebody call 911, because my heart stopped when I looked at you, baby." He looked up at Susan.

"Ugh." Susan scowled at him.

Peter opened his chest, took out his sword, and drew it. "When Aslan bears his teeth, winter meets its death," he read.

"And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again," Lucy finished. "Everyone we knew, Mr Tumnus and the beavers….they're all gone."

"Gone?" I asked. "You mean, dead?"

"I think it's time we found out what's going on," Peter said, heroically putting his sword back into its sheath.

"Speaking of swords, you all have weapons except for me," I whined.

"Me, too!" Justin said.

"Yea, you don't really count, Justine," I said.

"HEY!"

Edmund sighed. "Come on, kids." He led us over to a corner where a big stack of .

"Hey, Ed…. Can I call you Ed?" I asked.

Ed nodded. "Now, for your stature, I would suggest a dagger, like Lucy."

"Seriously? A dagger? Excuse me if I'm short, but I WOULD enjoy a big girl sword like you and Pete."

"Fine. Try to pick one up, then."

I hoisted the sword above my head. It _was_ pretty heavy, but I wasn't going to admit it. "This feels great, Ed."

He shrugged. "Whatever you say."

"ED, WATCH OUT!" I yelled. He whirled around to find Justin swinging a sword around uncontrollably, and it was getting pretty close to Ed's head.

"AH!" Edmund fell to the ground.

"JUSTINE!" I yelled. He immediately dropped the sword.

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING, TRYING TO GET ED KILLED—"

"Shh, Elli…." Ed said from the ground.

"NOT NOW, ED!" I yelled.

"No, seriously, be quiet. Don't you hear that?" We all listened really closely.

"Sounds like people," Ed said.

"YES! SOCIETY!" I yelled, running outside. Everyone followed. We saw two men in a tiny canoe about to throw a kid into the ocean. The kid was all tied up and gagged. Susan drew her bow and arrow.

"You go, baby!" Justin yelled.

"Drop him!" she yelled in a deep, manly voice. And, just like she said, they DID drop him—into the water.

"Smart one, Su," I said sarcastically.

One of the soldiers in the boat picked up a crossbow, and Susan shot him on his helmet. It bounced off. They both jumped out of the boat into the water and started swimming to the opposite shore. The kid was sinking to the bottom, and Peter, being the responsible one, jumped in and pulled him to shore. Ed also jumped in, but dragged back the boat to the shore.

I was thinking about helping them, but I decided not to get wet or waste my energy.

Lucy pulled out her dagger and cut the kid's bonds. He pulled the piece of cloth off his mouth.

"DEAR LORD, THAT CHILD HAS A BEARD!" I yelled.

"I'm a dwarf, thank you very much," he grumbled. "And you…." He spun around to face Susan.

"DROP HIM?" he yelled. "That's the best you could come up with?"

"Ooh, I like you already!" I exclaimed.

"A simple thank-you would suffice," Susan said to the dwarf.

"They were doing fine drowning me _without_ your help," he growled.

"Then maybe we should have let them," Peter said, scoffing.

"Why were they trying to kill you, anyways?" Lucy asked.

"They're Telmarines," the dwarf said. "That's what they do."

"What are Telmarines?" I asked.

"Telmarines? In Narnia?" Ed asked.

"WHAT ARE TELMARINES!" I said again.

"They _were_ the enemies of Narnia," Edmund said. "From Telmar."

"Yea, where have you been for the last few hundred years?" the dwarf said.

"It's a bit of a long story," Lucy said.

Susan handed Peter's sword back to him. The dwarf realized that it was the old queens and kings.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," he said. "You're it? _You're_ the kings and queens of old?"

Peter held out his hand, whipping his hair dramatically in the wind. "High King Peter…." He shook his hair again…."the Magnificent."

"Oh my, _somebody's_ full of himself," I said, earning a look of hate from Peter.

"Yes, you probably could have left out that last bit," Susan said.

The dwarf laughed. "Probably."

"You might be surprised," Peter said.

"I'm Trumpkin," the dwarf said. Then he tried to whip his hair. In his best kingly voice, he added, "the dwarf."

Everybody laughed.

"I'm Elli," I said. I whipped my hair. "the awesomesauce-i-ness."

"And I'm Justin," Justin said. He whipped his hair. "the hottie."

"Yeah, you keep living that dream, Justine," I said.

Peter drew out his sword.

"Oh no, boy, you don't want to do that, boy," Trumpkin said.

"Not me. Him," Peter said, looking at Ed. Ed drew his sword, and Peter handed his sword to Trumpkin.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" I chanted. Trumpkin took the sword and the sword dropped in the sand, as if it were too heavy for him to lift. Ed smiled at Peter, and you could tell he knew he was going to win this fight. Then, Trumpkin knocked Ed's sword away and swung. Ed ducked, and Trumpkin hit him in the face. Ed backed off.

"Edmund!" Lucy cried.

"Aww, you alright?" Trumpkin asked in mock worry. They kept fighting, and eventually Ed twisted Trumpkin's sword and it flew out of his grip. Trumpkin stared at Ed in amazement. Actually, it looked like he wanted to kiss him.

"Beards and bedsteads! Maybe that horn worked after all," Trumpkin said.

Susan, worried about her precious horn, asked, "What horn?"

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